Yes, I fucking quit the meds


OK, before you instill your judgements on me PLEASE hear me out entirely. YES, I quit taking my meds (well, everything except my Adderall....I love that shit). Why you might ask would I risk everything that I've worked so hard to overcome by not taking my meds? Well, because they SUCK. I'm 41 years old and my bathroom looks like a fucking pharmacy in there. But you know what, that's really not the reason why I stopped. I stopped for two reasons - the first being that one of the major side effects is weight gain, and I'm not just talking about 5 or 10 lbs, I've gained over 125 lbs over the past 5 years because of these fucking meds, and secondly I just got tired of being in a fog and being depressed. And it was great, I was more confident and energetic. I seemed to be on cloud 9 all of the time, which was fucking AWESOME. But I started to slip back into those old habits, you know the ones that got me into so much trouble in the past and so I had no choice but to go back on the meds....so here I am back to being one step away from the edge of the cliff, almost hoping that someone would come along and just push my ass right off the side. So I don't know what to do. I just want to be fucking normal, to be able to control my own moods and out comes without this delicate balance between one med which brings me up (but not too up) and another that brings me down (but not too down) and then another med which helps manage the facial ticks caused by one of my other meds and so on and so on and so on. I'm just fucking over ALL of it!