Well, I'm definitely on the downward trend...I've fallen off the bipolar wagon somewhere along the way and I was cycling into mania for a while there, even if I didn't realize it, but now I'm definitely past that and straight onto depression. And people don't understand at all. My wife and the rest of my family just don't get it. They mean well enough, but they don't understand that the best thing that they could do for me is to just LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE and let me deal with my own shit. I don't mean to put it bluntly like that and I never would actually say that to any of them, but that's truly what I need in order to be able to process all of these thoughts in my head and try to move past it all. I NEED to talk it out with someone, but who, I really don't know. I've tried talking to my wife, but right now all she sees is my pissy attitude and so she really doesn't want to hear anything that I have to say. I'm TRYING not to turn all of this into an argument between her and I, but she just keeps pushing and pushing and pushing and I'm trying so hard to not retaliate but it's HARD, especially when I'm already tired and irritable. I need to try to get ahold of my psychologist and get back on her schedule, but even doing that will bring about a whole series of questions from my wife and family and friends and I'm really not prepared to answer those questions at this point.